Worth It
by pumpkinnubbin
Summary: Kate doubted herself. A lot. She's done so many bad things that it was hard to imagine people wanted her around for her. Magnus proves her that she is indeed worth it all and that she got no reason to doubt herself any more.


_This is for my best friend, Goofynubbin, who made me a lovely Helen/Kate graphic and I wrote this fanfiction to said graphic. Drop me a line to tell me what you thought of it, please? Enjoy, everyone :)_

* * *

She's done a lot of crap in her life. She's been through just about as much crap herself. Maybe that had been why she had been doing it so much. She hadn't ever thought about it before, had never cared either. It hadn't been a part of her to start thinking about why she was doing what she was doing. For her, it had been to survive and because she was good at what she was doing. The rest didn't matter.

Until she had met Helen Magnus and her merry team. She had changed after that meeting and even more so once she had been allowed to remain with them. She had gotten far more thoughtful of the people around her and their work and her actual new role in the entire thing.

Up until that incident with the suit. She had felt so much stronger and independent with it that she completely forgot that she didn't actually need it. But it had felt amazing to just be able to do whatever she wanted. Magnus and the others were standing in the way. At least that's what she had thought at the time. She had been feeling terrible about it once the suit was off and she had realized what she had done and said, knowing she had hurt everyone she cared for.

So when Magnus came to see her later that day, the relief washing over her must have been obvious for the other woman. She had been so ashamed of herself and of her actions towards all of them. After they had been giving her a home and a family, she had done something like that, nearly killing them. When she had admitted to being glad about being back home, and actually calling it her home for the first time, she had felt so shy she had wished for the ground to swallow her whole.

* * *

After that it had slowly gotten better again. Between her and the team and her and Magnus. Both things that had been very important to her. She didn't want to screw this up. It was all she had after all. Another mission, however, had drawn her up to that window as soon as her report had been done writing.

She wasn't surprised to hear Magnus approaching again after an hour or so of just sitting there and staring outside. The older one sat down with her, watching her quietly.

"Are you alright?"

"I.. yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"Sure?" Magnus asked again, concerned, obviously.

"Yes, Doc. Just.. This just reminded me of a lot. I needed a break."

Helen looked at her and nodded, sighing a little. It hadn't passed her how hard this one had been on the young woman.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why don't you ever doubt me?" She asked quietly, seemingly not comfortable with asking but apparently needing to know rather desperately.

"Doubt you..? I trust you, Kate. You've never given me a reason not to. You're always proving yourself to us and you do your best not to disappoint or mess things up. That's all I can ask of you. There's no reason to doubt you."

"Not even with everything I've done? I nearly fell back to that today. Or that time with the suit. I could have killed you."

"But you didn't. Don't be so hard on yourself, Kate." Helen smiled reassuringly and she could see that Kate didn't believe her yet.

She would always be hard on herself, a leftover habit from her earlier days. They remained silent for a while before Magnus got up again, a determined look on her face.

"Tell you what.. Why don't you come by my office in say, half an hour?"

The younger one stared up at her, puzzled but nodding eventually. Helen left and she looked after her, wondering what she had asked that for. Then she went back to stare upon the skyline of Old City, trying not to over-think everything too much.

* * *

Nearly exactly half an hour later, she knocked against the wooden frame of the office door softly, not wanting to startle the older woman who looked up at her and smiled, gesturing to the couch for her to sit down. She did, walking over almost shyly.

"Why am I here?"

"I want to prove something to you."

"Prove something to me?" She frowned.

Helen nodded, smiling and sitting down next to her with a stack of files.

"Remember when you got here? I told you I didn't want you here because I was so very certain you'd stay just because we could keep you safe for longer than you would have been anywhere else. You'd betray us as soon as you get the chance but you didn't. In fact, you saved my life that day."

"You saved me too.." She mumbled, staring at the files.

"Then the incident with Jimmy. You could have killed him for what he did but you didn't. You couldn't, right?"

Her gaze saddened and she sighed a little. She remembered that one. She had wanted to shoot him so badly but truth to be told, she really hadn't been able to pull that trigger. She looked up when Magnus gave her one of the files.

"What's that?"

"Open it"

She did, surprised to find out it was the entire report about the Big Bertha mission. She had truly started to feel like a part of the network after that one; accepted not only by the others but by herself as well. It had taken her so much courage to overcome herself to help properly. She smiled a little, remembering how grateful the little boy had been after the tsunami had hit home and she had been with him to keep him safe. That had felt really good.

"You've grown so much since you got here. You know what you're capable of and you outdo yourself if you begin to be uncertain about something. You're smart, Kate and not only street smart."

"That.. That time in the bank.. You left me the liberty to do everything. You left me handling it."

"Because I knew you could. And you did not disappoint one bit."

She managed a larger smile at the praise, glad to be appreciated like this.

"You're an amazing young woman, Kate. You have nothing to doubt yourself for, nor feel bad about any more. I'm very proud of you." Helen stated calmly, smiling softly and reaching out to place her hand on Kate's knee.

"What?"

She couldn't believe what she had just heard. She hadn't had anyone tell her they'd be proud of her for a very long time. And coming from Magnus, this meant a great deal to her.

"Thanks... Don't you.. ever regret keeping me here?"

Helen shook her head again, smiling still and lifting her hand to stroke over her cheek gently.

"Never. You're always worth the trouble."

She had to chuckle a little at that, smiling up at her brightly. Magnus pulled her over slightly to kiss her cheek and she couldn't help but blush faintly at the action, her expression softening.

"Thank you, Doc."

"Anytime. Now, go and get some rest. You still look like you could need it."

"Yeah. Thanks. I'll see you later." She smiled, getting up and waving at her as she left.

Magnus smiled after her, glad to find her cheered up and feeling better. Perhaps she would stop doubting herself so often now.


End file.
